@NotJerryTipton’s greatest hits

This may come as a surprise, but the Internet is full of meanies. Twitter, in particular, is a rich repository of social detritus. Its streamlined creative format lends itself well to pithy humor, instantaneous news and concise distillations of writing one might not otherwise dive into. It also gives voice to millions of people too lazy or unimaginative to articulate a thought in a space larger than a text message.

One tiresome phenomenon endemic to Twitter is the parody account. More often than not they’re formulaic, doltish and harmlessly attention-seeking enterprises. But it’s at the intersection of parody accounts and hateful assholes that one comes face to face with inexorable, profound ignorance. So it’s with some reluctance that I highlight one such example.

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For the uninitiated, the auteur behind @NotJerryTipton apparently set out to lampoon the stoical Lexington Herald-Leader beat writer, and actually boasts more than three times as many followers as the genuine article. With his finger on the pulse of the Lexington zeitgeist, Not Jerry quickly graduated to more thought-provoking intellectual discourse on topics ranging from Duke to Louisville fans to Rick Pitino to, well, that’s it. Included below are a few of my personal favorites, accompanied by a little play-by-play and divided by genre.

Patriarchal bro-dap

Pretty harmless, right? My boy Mus is just checkin’ out the merchandise. Did you see that baggy jersey she was wearing? Broad was asking for it.

Abortion humor

Once again, a little tasteless but the haters should lighten up. I would quibble that abortion is––technically––the ultimate corner cutter, but whatever.

HAHauhh. Wait, these bear timestamps from a couple months ago? I imagined they were from two and a half years ago, before everyone moved on with their lives.


Why wouldn’t someone  jump to analogize a top-50 research institution to a crack house in a ghetto? Surely has nothing to do with any pejorative stereotypes about New Orleans.

Coach K: total racist, you guys. Did you know that Wes Unseld wanted to come to UK, but Adolf Rupp demurred only out of concern for the player’s safety in the backward SEC? It chaps my ass that the NAACP never recognized Rupp for his Pee Wee Reesean courage.

Well, ya’know, maybe he’s making a non-race-specific criticism of UofL fans being trashy and poor and this isn’t coded race baiting.

Oh, never mind. I think he’s just talking about black people. Insisting that the subject of such insults is the post-racial “Line beard” is a time-honored tradition of dodging this criticism, but it’s pretty obvious what the author is trying to convey.

Class prejudice

What’s an easier target than people of color? The poor. And what’s funnier than 700,000 impoverished Kentuckians? They probably won’t even protest, what with being too busy working two jobs to get on Twitter and admonish you.

Wait, where are we getting all of our Swishers and Crown? EBT won’t cover those in Kentucky. Tattoos aren’t cheap either, for that matter.

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