The debut of Dark Slime

I should preface this post by apologizing for this blog’s descent into neglect. The world of part-time retail beckoned, and I abandoned unemployment to answer the call. Having just experienced my first (and last) Maine winter, I sense a return to productivity as the glaciers enshrouding my apartment recede and the roving mammoths’ blood lust subsides. Look forward to more unsubstantiated gossip and juvenile photoshops pertaining to your Louisville Cardinals as my metabolism returns to normal.

What better way to dust off birdswag than with a blog update from Rick Pitino––the Narcan of Louisville sports writing:

There are many skills we want to see improve with our players this summer.

[…]

Russdiculous

-Introduce him to passing (lol)
-Improve balance on jumpshot
-Recognize high percentage shots vs. low percentage ones
-Improve his 3pt shooting

[…]

Michael Baffour
-AKA (Dark Slime) Don’t ask, Russ’s nickname.
-Newest walk on from Lexington, will replace the Bullet.
-Have to determine what his best position will be.

Usually, the Dipset tracks looping in the background of rickpitino.com, Pitino’s fluent use of ‘lol’ and the reference to Russdiculous would be gratification enough. But then Rick casually introduces a new player as Dark Slime.

There’s been a lot made of Pitino’s personal mellowing over the last two seasons, but it’s hard to read something like this and deny that Pitino is one of the coolest bros in the game.

from the Cardinal Connect

It’s also safe to say that Michael Baffour strode right in out of no where and joined the ranks of my favorite UofL players with unprecedented ease. A name like Dark Slime can do that for you.

Dragon Quest: etymological origin of the Dark Slime moniker?

The nickname is made all the more intriguing by the notion of Russ Smith playing Dragon Quest between sets of pushups in the middle of the night; a sleepless Gorgui Dieng protesting periodically. The cult mythology of Russ Smith continues to grow.

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